It's almost 4 years, and you're still not done.

You wrote this: "how pathetic do you have to be to plead for a dead person not to leave you." It's why I was pleading for you.

You also wrote: " this one time see, i was myself and he loved her. and now it's all over. none of this matters, but it is the whole world. i say it was a good fit. he never even knew how good i fit it was. "

That's not true. I did know, I do know, and I do see the beauty of your scars. Between being stuck in my own repressed grief, and my hangups about the big taboo and all that, I couldn't let myself go. It's not over, it's changed, and it will all change again. Stages. Performers. You can be a million people, but there's only one you and that's who you will end up being no matter how long you resist. Sometimes you are, and sometimes you think you are. You do know the name of every link...but it still doesn't free you.

I miss you.